KFC Review – Reading M4 West Services, England – 29/06/23
Summary
Chicken 12/20
Sides 3/10
Service 3/10
Magic 8/10
Total 26/50
The story
The idea for this website was inspired by a visit in January 2020 to one of the two (2) KFCs in the Dubai mall. Both the menu and the behaviour of the customers and employees alike were strange, exotic, and bewildering (while I was, as is my custom, cool and normal). Reflecting on this experience on returning home, it struck me that what the world could be improved by its having a reference point for the comparative analysis of its many and varied KFC restaurants, and that the provision of this reference both could and should be my contribution to the world’s body of knowledge. While covid temporarily restricted the circumference of my analysis, with the world now being well and truly open again, I have been able to plan with confidence a pilgrimage to sites of special significance to the Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise. It will come as no surprise to the informed reader then that the first stop on the tour was the KFC in the Reading M4 Services (Westbound).
Reading M4 Services (Westbound) is a site that means many different things to many different people. To some it’s merely a convenient refilling station on the way from Billericay to Barry. To some it’s a happy hunting ground for cunning subterfuge or a daring heist. To others still, it’s a premier pitstop to refresh their dog over the Christmas holidays. To me though, it was the first opportunity to review what KFC is all about in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Island.
The order
To be absolutely transparent with you dear reader, this review is being transcribed slightly after the exact date of my visit to Reading M4 West Services KFC, so some of the points of minute detail have been lost to time. Rest assured however that the epiphenomena of the experience still burn as clearly in my mind as the north star on a moonless night.
We ordered a mixed chicken meal containing some regular chicken, some tenders, some wicked wings, chips, and a drink (7 up sugar free). We also ordered some additional tenders, two pieces of corn on the cob, and of course, a pottle of gravy to grease it on the way down the gullet.
Please disregard the water and fruit displayed alongside the order. This was purchased in a separate, but related, attempt to ensure the continued functioning of all of my major organs after a few big nights on the trot. The cost of the order has been lost to time.
Chicken –12/20
To sum up in 3 words: disappointing but passable.
The tenders were the highlight of the chicken experience, but that’s akin to a hotel being the highlight of a holiday. Undoubtably the quality of the tender/hotel is of crucial importance, but to be a highlight is to admit a devastating lack of verve. Anyway, they had a solid crunch to chew ratio, carried a good amount of secret herb and spice flavouring, and had been allowed to mature in the warmer for an appropriate amount of time.
Wicked wings are not a menu item that I usually partake of. In my opinion the quantity of chicken on the wing isn’t sufficient to support the level of coating that the wickedness brings to the party. This is, of course, also a fundamentally different coating concoction from what you would encounter on a juicy baseball piece, and so I do credit the Colonel and co. that the ratio is deliberate and that I’m just not the target audience for the offering. The wing eater was happy with what they brought to the table.
The original recipe pieces, which obviously should be the cornerstone of the meal, were mangy. The pieces were undersized, the chicken itself was slimy, and the coating was overpoweringly oily. Bad, bad, not good.
Sides – 3/10
I give KFC M4 West Services 5 points for having corn on the cob on the menu. Being able to go to a KFC and come away with one of my 5+ a day was an extremely welcome surprise. That kernels themselves were, fresh, plump, juicy, and cooked to perfection was an astonishment within a surprise.
As the astute reader will have noticed however, the total score for the sides does not reflect astonishment wrapped within a surprise. This is for four principal reasons; there was a bag of chips missing, the chips that were not missing were god awful, the gravy was an insult to the Colonel, and the final nail in the coffin, there were no full sugar drink options available. Because of society’s pressures to conform to the ideal body shape (Chet Holmgren) I do begrudgingly consume the odd sugar free soft drink, but to not have option to go the full sugar sickness is an insult. PC gone mad. Thanks Jamie Oliver.
Service – 3/10
The service was friendly but slapdash. In fairness to the staff it was all hands on deck, but the missed chips and an obvious overall lack of passion for the product and familiarity with the menu aren’t flaws that can be easily forgiven.
Magic – 8/10
The saving grace of Reading M4 West Services KFC was the transcendent atmosphere of the environment as a whole. Pulling off the motor way you leave the trials of the road behind and enter an oasis of earthly delight. It’s easy to see why it’s so highly rated as a destination to rest your dog. Among many delights were an M&S, a WH Smith, a burger king, an arcade room, and not one but two (!!!!!) pokie rooms. To have a slap on the old bricky’s laptop while nibbling a 3 piece is unique in my experience to date and is, quite obviously, an exciting area of opportunity for growth for the franchise as a whole. Watch this space.
Mingin or Finger lickin?
Mingin 😦
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