KFC Review – Venice, Italy – 08/07/22
Summary
Chicken 19/20
Sides 5/10
Service 7/10
Magic 5/10
Total 36/50
The story
Saint Mark’s Basilica, Rialto Bridge, the KFC by the train station. Just three of the iconic locations that spring to mind when conjuring the Queen of the Adriatic, Venice.
Honeymooning with my beautiful new wife, we found ourselves in the floating city. As gourmands with a keen appreciation of Italy’s contribution to fine food we knew that we needed to make our way to the big man’s local, to see how Italian KFC would stand up to the close scrutiny of a discerning palate. Being in the mood for celebration, we spent the day exploring as many of the local watering holes as possible, building up a head of steam and a fierce hunger before swooping on the KFC for a romantic twilight dinner.
The order
As previously indicated, the boiler was thoroughly stoked prior to arrival, so some of the finer details of the order and its price have been lost to time. But I certainly purchased two meals, one with boneless original recipe pieces, and one with regular original recipe pieces. Both came with drinks and chips. We supplemented the meal with a few add on sides including gravy, corn on the cob, and some sort of mystery mush which I guessed to be either polenta or potato. I have no idea what it cost primarily because we ordered in two tranches. I got frustrated by being foreign and unintelligible, and Katie, unhappy with the outcome, went back to tidy up my mess. ❤
Chicken –19/20
The chicken was tight. No two ways about it.
We arrived very near to closing which significantly ups the risk of leaving you to lump whatever’s left over from the dinner rush. Mercifully this was not the outcome that greeted us. The chicken was perfectly covered in coating, cooked golden brown, and with immaculate crunch. No sogging or sagging but also no dryness or jutting edges.
This was the first chicken review that I’ve executed where a perfect score was within the realms of possibility. One minor mark against KFC Venice however was the thigh piece that turned up in my box. I didn’t specify against, it but it’s still a disappointment anytime I see that dirty three pointer peering back out at me. In fairness to the Venetian KFC workers (and Italian brewers) it was one of the best thigh pieces I’ve ever had. But still, close but no cigar.
Sides – 5/10
As we all know chips are the chicken of the side world, so that’s where we’ll start. These chips were McDonalds style thin fries, and like anything comparable to McDonalds, they were tolerable on the surface but after scratching down a layer, they were revealed to be a soulless sham. This is primarily due to a lack of any sort of seasoning, let alone glorious chicken salt (Australia’s greatest contribution to the world to date (bar none)). Being a soulless sham isn’t necessarily to be an outlier, so I’m not going to call them bad per se, just conclusively not good.
The gravy was a similar story. Both the taste and the texture suggested that it had been whipped up from a powder, or at least from an exacting recipe, rather than being the product of whatever was floating around and the bottom of the chicken draw when a hard-working battler got around to scooping it out and calling it gravy. No potato was in the mix which regular readers will already know is a poor alternative in my opinion.
The less said about the wee mushy side bit the better. I just looked it up on the web and its apparently spud. It had the consistency of a blended sponge and no flavour at all. If it was mixed in with the average gravy it would have made both better, but there you go. Such is life.
The significant bright spot in the side game came in the form of a corn on the cob. My mum’s told me stories about it being a historical offering in NZ but this was the first time that I actually got to see the myth in the flesh. Sweet and covered in greasy butter, KFC corn was the only 1 of my 5 + a day that I actually got that day. Still counts though.
We drank pepsi max. Again, for health reasons.
Service – 7/10
I’ve moaned a wee bit about having to make myself understood, but that was all down to me. The staff were pleasant and accommodating. They dealt with my foreign language, funny accent, and drunkenness with aplomb.
They lose a few marks for guarding the toilets like centurions but all and all a hospitable welcome.
Magic – 5/10
This could have gone either way.
There was a lot to love. Sat on the edge of one of the most beautiful and beguiling cities in the world, watching the light fade over the canal, crunching on some delectable secret recipe herbs and spices after a few drinks. It’s bloody close to my idea of heaven.
But then! While decanting the gravy what do I spy snuffling about in a small planting to my right but a giant gutter rat. Leaping out of the undergrowth it made a dash for some discarded chicken morsels, snaffling them from beside another couples’ boot laces, and dashing off to some other of its lairs. Horrifying.
Twilight beside the water is a rat party zone as is, but add the temptation of the Colonel’s finest, and I suppose that I was a fool not to expect to be molested by one of the shadow fiends. I know that I can hardly blame KFC Venice for what’s going on outside its doors, but I also know that I saw a rat and absolutely hated every second of it, and that it made me want to run away and hide.
Split the difference and call it a 5.
Mingin or Finger lickin?
Finger lickin 🙂
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