KFC Review – Gore, NZ – 22/04/22
Summary
Chicken 18/20
Sides 9/10
Service 10/10
Magic 7/10
Total 44/50
The story
April the 22nd 2022 was a very special day for me. It was a day that I’d been eagerly looking forward to since the conception of this website. It was the opportunity to return to the hearth where the flame of my love for Colonel Harland Sanders and his good works was first sparked. I’m writing, of course, about my hometown KFC, in Gore NZ.
Situated conveniently on the main street of New Zealand’s country music capital, and the brown trout fishing capital of the world, KFC Gore is my first true love and the scene of many of the finest of my salad days. This is a review that I’ve wanted to write for some time, but which has been made impossible until now by COVID 19 travel restrictions. However, like Odysseus, I eventually managed to slip out of my caged paradise and set sail for home, feeling a mix of longing to return and dread at what I might find on my return. Would the reality live up to the memory? Would my love have remained true? And most importantly, would the chicken be finger licking or minging?
The order
Here I was greeted with a slight dilemma. There were a whole slew of different combinations and options available. Most, including the Ultimate Date, Famous Five, and Bucket Bonanza, were just rehashes of the old favourites with catchy handles. Some though were brand spanking new like the Veggie Burger which is a KFC vegetarian option previously unknown to me. Why you’d have such high concern for chicken welfare and such little for your own as to continue to eat KFC I can’t fathom, but if that’s you, they’ve got you covered.
I did ultimately, of course, disregard all of the distraction and go for the tried and true three-piece quarter pack. 3 chicken pieces (no thigh), potato and gravy, a drink, chips (extra seasoning), and a fluffy bread roll. This came to the higher price (v Australia) of $13.49 but when you’re at the edge of the world you’ve got to pay for luxury.
Chicken –18/20
As I said, I was slightly worried walking into the review. Particularly about my own ability to drop the rose tinted lenses and, if required, look my first love square in the face and paint the portrait warts and all.
I needn’t have worried. There were no warts to paint. Rather, the portrait came over the counter ready framed with a floating golden leaf halo and radiant lapis eyes. Look at it and you can hear the cherubs singing in the background. Skin crisped to a cornflake crunch and immaculately golden brown. That’s chicken that could be in an advertisement. Even the allocation was spot on with a rib, a drum, and a breast.
But not just a pretty face! Underneath the surface, the substance of Gore’s chicken lived up to its promise. Tender and chewy in the right places, in the right measures, and at the right times, this was chicken worth waiting for. Undeniable succulence and almost indescribable joy.
Before I get too carried away, I will admit that all was not perfect. There was a slight layer of slime between the skin and the meat. It’s a layer that’s hard to avoid, but an imperfection none the less. While it didn’t impact my overall enjoyment, it does take the chicken down from a perfect 20, to a still mighty 18.
Sides – 9/10
The seasoning on those chips! They’re encrusted in salt like diamond pavé. When a weary traveller stumbles into a KFC and asks for extra seasoning, this is exactly what they have in mind. Flawlessness. The chips were also fresh out of the fryer and cooked to perfection (more on this in a moment). Full marks.
The gravy unfortunately didn’t have the aesthetic heft of the rest of the meal, being served with a bubonic texture that was best enjoyed with the eyes closed. The flavour wasn’t at all compromised but I can’t pretend that it doesn’t look gross and so marks are unfortunately lost here.
One of those marks is earned back by NZ KFC’s service of Coca Cola over Pepsi. Like adidas track pants, or Dyson vacuums, Coke is so uncompromisingly on brand that it leaves its competitors in the dust. While I’m not one to turn my nose up at a Pepsi, I do know that I’m settling for second best when I have one, and at Gore KFC it was wonderful not have to.
The KFC bread roll will outlast the cockroach post nuclear holocaust and so is almost impossible to get either right or wrong. Like 2+2=4 it just is what it is.
Service – 10/10
Here’s where KFC Gore got really real. I made my order and stepped back from the counter to wait patiently for it to be delivered. The lady serving me was pleasant, and I was reassured to see that she looked like she knew one end of a wicked wing from the other, but nothing really stood out as I ordered for either for better or for worse. In fact, as the seconds ticked by and the order didn’t arrive, I began to become a little impatient for my food, and a little butt hurt that my true love could mess me about like this.
But lo! When the order did arrive, it was accompanied by a few special words.
“Sorry that your order took a while, I didn’t think that the chips there looked great, so I put another batch on for you.”
A brand-new batch of chips just for me. What consideration. What commitment. What care. If I could give the service an 11 out of 10 I would (unfortunately it’s against union regs), but as it is it’s a perfect 10, served with my sincere thanks!
Magic – 7/10
One of the down sides of running a tightly ordered set up is that the space for inspiration is often squeezed out. Magic can’t be scheduled. Unfortunately for Gore KFC, the steps that were required to make my meal so darn finger licking good, also inherently meant that there was a little bit less of the beautiful mess that often makes a visit to KFC such an unforgettable experience.
A bit less does not, however, mean none. From the gentleman who shared with me his indignation at not being allowed to walk through the McDonalds drive through to get his grandson chicken nuggets (the despicable trick was at KFC as a consolation), to the wagon load (see below) who cheered me for taking a photo of the building itself, the visit was not without its charms. That the charms were slightly less than the lofty heights that I know KFC to be capable of, is not a black mark on the visit, but a reminder that even returning home to find Penelope faithfully waiting, 20 years are going to take their toll.
Mingin or Finger lickin?
Finger lickin 🙂 ++
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