Summary
Chicken 8/20
Sides 8/10
Service 10/10
Magic 3/10
Total 29/50
The story
After having hidden under the bed for the last 6 months so that the Rona wouldn’t catch me (it got me anyway) I was finally able to get out and about and review a new KFC. I certainly hadn’t been idle as far as eating the good stuff goes, but I had been confined to ordering from the local. Needless to say, it was with great excitement that I went on a Friday afternoon adventure.
As I manage to get through more locations it becomes increasingly adventurous to get to KFCs that have yet to be reviewed. On this occasion I went to a location that I knew by reputation but never before by acquaintance. The location of Sydney Central KFC is in the goblin tunnels that run under the city centre, linking all of the different shopping malls. I’ve lived in the city for almost 6 years now and I still have absolutely no idea where I am anytime, I go down there so it was only after 15 minutes of walking around in circles that I managed to come across the hole in the wall restaurant. It’s smack bang in the middle of a food court that’s not too grim as far as food courts go, but pretty grim all the same.
The order
As usual I went with the old faithful three-piece quarter pack. Three pieces of chicken (no thigh), a potato and gravy, a bread roll, a drink, and chips. $11.95. I didn’t specify extra seasoning but got it anyway. Shout out to the crew for the effort.
Chicken –8/20
What a shame. What a crying shame.
As regular readers will know the chicken component of my reviews comes first and is given a double importance in weighting because of its centrality to the KFC experience. The great man didn’t call the restaurant ‘Sanders’, after all. So, after the fantastic service and the top shelf sides (more on both later) my expectations for the chicken were sky high.
My hopes were initially buoyed by the selection and appearance of the pieces. A breast, a rib, and a drumstick is a tight trio, and the skin was golden brown and crisped to a crunch. You can imagine my horror then, dear reader, when on biting into the drumstick first I was greeted by a thick layer of chicken slime. Following the maxim, waste not want not, I powered through rest of the pieces. I was met with slime at each bite and my disappointment was profound.
When I say slime I’m not suggesting that there was anything fundamentally ill with the chicken. It was just that all the pieces resembled the dreaded thigh in that the juices and slippery skin layers completely surrounded the chicken. For some people (fools) this is a positive, but for me it’s an absolute deal breaker. To clarify further, there was no issue with the cooking, and I can only imagine that the birds themselves were in some way deficient.
Sides – 8/10
Better sides that a dodecahedron.
The chips were bang on perfection. You couldn’t ask for better. Crunchy on the outside fluffy on the inside, and goldilocks temperature. On top of which the salting was perfect which any specification being given.
The gravy had a good taste and consistency but the spud to goo ratio was a little off, leaving too thick a potato residue when the gravy was done, and losing a couple of marks from the perfect 10.
The roll was as standard issue, and it was all washed down by a nutritious and refreshing Pepsi.
Service – 10/10
Being a. in a food court, and b. in a cave complex I had extremely low expectations of the level of service to be expected at this KFC. My fears weren’t diminished by turning up to see a long line of school children and junkies waiting for food as I arrived.
My fear, however, turned out to be absolutely baseless as the staff behind the counter sped through both the line and the orders pending and took my order quick as a shot. Most importantly, I got the impression that the staff cared about fried chicken which makes all the difference. Highly commended.
Magic – 3/10
In my professional judgement magic is the second most important aspect of a KFC experience. If you want consistency you’d go to Burger King. If you want health you’ll get a salad. If you want a demented clown to give your child a treat you’ll also go to McDonalds. But if you want personality, intrigue, and the unexpected you go to KFC.
Unfortunately, KFC Goblin Town wasn’t able to offer much of either on my visit. The tunnels are grim and confusing, the food court is sterile and empty of personality, and even the junkies were orderly and well behaved. The one element that added a bit of spice to an otherwise barren environment was being surrounded by, inexplicably, 3 different muffin-break cafes. 3 out of 10.
Mingin or Finger lickin?
Mingin 😦
KFC Reviews 