Summary
Chicken 18/20
Sides 7/10
Service 9/10
Magic 5/10
Total 39/50
The story
Green Square is the centre piece of the eastern suburbs Khrushchyovka cluster. In recognition of its production, the Bureau for Chicken Allocation has granted the suburb trendy new KFC.
Things got off to a bad start when I noticed that the sign outside the building was in an minimalistic black. I’ve never seen a KFC sign in anything other than red before and I was unnerved by the curve ball. Despite this inauspicious start, I plunged in and began my assessment.
The order
Under slight time pressure I went with the tried-and-true three-piece quarter pack. Three pieces of chicken (no thigh), a potato and gravy, a bread roll, a drink, and chips feat. xtra seasoning. $11.95.
Chicken – 18/20
Fantastic stuff. Really quite impressive.
I was treated to three great pieces (breast, thigh, and wing) and each was a fine example of its kind. Evenly covered and cooked coating, crisp and juicy in the right places and right measures and tasting like only KFC can.
The only thing holding Green Square back from a perfect score on its chicken was its freshness. I was in the middle of the lunch time rush and the grease hadn’t quite had time to settle which slightly diminishes the overall taste. I know that most people prefer their chicken straight out of the fryer but, like a fine steak, a little rest does the chicken good.
A giant tick in KFC Green Square’s box. 18/20.
Sides – 7/10
More ticks here.
The chips weren’t cooked to perfection but certainly could have been far worse. Extra seasoning was specified and duly provided. Top side of average overall.
The roll was as good as ever and pepsi is pepsi, but there was a real turn up for the books in the potato and gravy. The side itself was also topside of average, but came with, for the first time ever, with a wooden spoon. I’m pleased that the good folk at KFC are committed to doing their bit to save the turtles. Earf 4 lyf.
Service – 9/10
Mind bendingly fast service. The shop had both self-serve and counter service and I went to the counter so that I could make my specifications. I’d barely received the receipt when the order arrived. I was left standing there staring into space while they read my number because I couldn’t believe that it could be mine already. One point lost because the lady who served me had 0 interest in my congratulatory banter. Too focused on speed.
Magic – 5/10
Sadly for Green Square, the Bureau for Chicken Allocation couldn’t quite get this one right. The black and red colour scheme was either going for a hyper modern or a neo fascist vibe, but neither are able to be well borne out by a KFC. It ended up looking and feeling like a cheap imitation of something far trendier than it could possibly be. Combined with punishing electronic music at far too high a volume it was an unfortunate atmosphere and dining experience.
Oh and also another portrait of the great man, doing absolutely no justice to his gravitas or depth of character. Shame on you KFC Green Square.
Some points are clawed back by the diverse clientele of the day. The combination of office workers who are already running a countdown of the days until their retirement (which is at least 15 years away), tradies with gallons of monster energy, and the usual colourful street characters, really did brighten my day.
Mingin or Finger lickin?
Finger lickin 🙂 +
KFC Reviews 